something is going wrong , i don know wat is it !!!
today i watched the titanic movie , omfg that was halarious ,
for the first time i cried !!! , i couldn't stop my self
i don even remember when was the last time for me to cry, so
thats why i said it was my first time , i guess it realy is
iam not that romantic guy , but oh my mars i cried !!!! , thats
should be realy weird , i cried with tears , comeon get real ,
who didn't dream to play jack on that movie , who didn't dream to
be jack !!!! who didn't dream to be rose !!!! , i tottaly forgot
it was valentine's , i didn't even know why they playing that movie
on t.v , i never thought i would cry over a movie !!!! weird huh !!!
ok i have to confess that movie is unbelivable ! it has something
that has that something to connect with directly with your soul !!!
its not that type of movie that i like ! its not fightclup !!!
i feel like watching my life on a screen , when i watch fight clup ,
may be thats wat i like tha most bout it ! but how and when did i
start thinking that romantic movies r kool !!! I have no idea !!!
am i in need for some romance , i don know !!! may be , i don see
why not anyways !!! but the question now is , do u have to be
perfect to have a perfect relationship !!! , i don think jack was
perfect , he was cuts maybe , handsome !!! , but hes not perfect
in so many ways ! , so appearantly u don have to be perfect , to
have a perfect relationship , all u need is A PERSON WHO CAN
UNDERSTAND , A PERSON WITH A MIND , A PERSON WHO CAN DO IT ALL , A
PERSON WHO HAS NO FEARS , A PERSON WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE WAT SCARES
HIM THE MOST , A PERSON WHO CAN SAY I DON WANT TO BE COMPLETE , A
PERSON WHO CAN SAY STOP BEING PERFECT PEOPLE , A PERSON WHO CAN
SCREAM IT OUT LOUD"IAM ALIVE PEOPLE" A PERSON WHO REALY CARES , A
PERSON WHO CAN LET GO OF EVERYTHING OTHER THAN YOU !!! A PERSON
WHO CAN EVOLVE , A PERSON WHO DOESN'T LET THINGS HE OWN END UP
OWNING HIM , A PERSON WHO KNOW HOW TO LOVE , A PERSON WHO CREATE
LOVE , TRUE LOVE NOT THAT KIND OF LOVE YOU WATCH AT TAMER HOSNEYS
MOVIES , A PERSON WHO KNOWS WAT LOVE REALY IS , WHO DOESN'T THINK
LOVE IS A KISS , WHO DOESN'T THINK ITS ALL BOUT SEX , WHO DOESN'T
THINK ITS ALL BOUT SNEAKING OUT OF PARENTS BACK, AND ACTING NUTTS !!!
A PERSON WHO CARES , A PERSON WHO CAN DO IT ALL , A PERSON WHO CAN
BE UR LOVER , FRIEND , FATHER , MOTHER , AND EVEN UR GOD !!!!
A PERSON WHOS NOT SUPER BUT HE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL SUPER , A PERSON
WHOS NOT SPECIAL BUT HE MAKES YOU SPECIAL , A PERSON WHO CAN'T FLY
BUT HE CAN GIVE YOU WINGS , A PERSON WHOS TRULY A HUMAN , A PERSON
WHOS AGAINST KILLING PEOPLE UNDER THE NAME OR THE COVER OF WATEVER
RELEGIONS , COUNTRIES , HUMANITY , DEMOCRACY WATEVER . A PERSON WHO
CAN'T BARE TO SEE AN ANIMAL BEING KILLED AND SLITTEN IT THROAT WHILE
PEOPLE WATCHING WITH OPEN MOUTHES WAITING FOR THEIR PART !!!! ,
A PERSON WHO HAVE THE POWER TO TURN THE WHOLE WORLD UP , A PERSON
WHO CAN SEND A WAKE UP CALL TO THE HUMANITY , TO THE WHOLE WORLD ,
A PERSON WHO CAN MAKE A CHANGE , A PERSON WHO CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE ,
why did i start writing this diary is because i had to , something
pushed me out of nowhere , after watching that movie , i would commit
a suicide if i didn't write something , i had to take that thing
deep inside OUT , i don know if iam going to keep this diary going on
iam not sure but i wish i will , i don think i can spend my whole
life looking for my soul mate !! , but i don seem to have better
stuff to do , so untill then iam still looking , god , why can't you
people start being wise , i don have to be fuckin' rich to make you
fuckin happy , that doesn't mean i can't i realy can , I REALY REALY
CAN but ur all too blind too see this !! i don wanna do this , i
wanna be me , i don wanna act someone else so u can think iam great.
so please , give me a chance , i wanna be a part of this world , i
have lived apart from it bout 20 years so , have some fuckin mercy
for gods sake , for jesus sake , for whoever u think u should have
some mercy cuz they said so !!! , i had enough of playing the
internet guy i had enough of being fooled !!! and the first time
i wanted to make it real , and stop watching my life on the screen
and i decided to take a part in my life , you were too hard on me
you didn't even give me a chance to tell wat i want , to show wat i
got !!! , you hurt me so bad ! more then you all can even imagine !
you turned me from mr.nice guy , to dr. jacklin , and mr. jack ass !!!
sometimes i swear to god i don even know who iam !! why do we do
this to eachothers , why can't we just live in peace , why can't
we just be happy, and i still belive its impossible that we have to
fight for every dream , thats not fair , and since most of us think
and belive that life isn't fair , then they must admit that god isn't
fair , and since god can't be nothing but fair , and it happened that
hes not fair , then theres no god !!! hes not exist !!! , its just us
its all bout us , we control it all , we create gods , we do it all ,
hmmm ,... i wonder if that kind of love we watched on that movie
"titanic" can be real , i always dreamed of that kind of pure true
love i know iam not the only one whos dreamin of having it ,but if
we all dreaming of that kind of love , whys the heck its not
happening in real life !!! why can't we just love without orders ,
love without rules , without laws , juts LOVE , pure love, love just
for the glory of love , not cuz jesus said so , or god said so , just
cuz humanity said so , just cuz we r humans , just cuz we need love
cuz we sick of being alone , cuz we need somemone to lay our love on
cuz we r not perfect , and we always seek to be complete , and being
with the one we love who realy understand makes us perfect , makes us
evolve , makes us even fly , you may say iam a dreamer but best
belive iam not the only one , there are millions out there just like
me but sadly , people who doesn't know this , and doesn't want this
to happen are way more then us , and its the will of the most
powerfull that leads !!! so i think enough for one day ,
and if you wondering why iam writing this in english , is cuz my
stupid notebook , doesn't have arabic letters on the keyboard , so
it takes forever to find them , and i write faster in english anyways
best regards,
mumbuzia .
الرئيسية 
